Going Cold Turkey

Few years back, I was in Malaysia on a business trip. I did not really get much "pasalubong", just two pairs of sunglasses for my cuddle pup; some chocolates and souvenir items for the hubby and my home buddies. While waiting at Kuala Lumpur's cool airport though, I happened to pass by a drugstore and saw some Nicorettes. Without really thinking about it I had my seldom-used (often-used now) card swiped for a USD150.00 bill. I got some patches and gum, for first and second stage Nicotine withdrawal, and excitedly boarded the plane home.


My Mom's been a smoker for most of her life. Her love for that cancer stick is something a non-smoker like myself will never comprehend. I tried smoking in High School and College (some of my pals then were smokers too). Every time I'd try, I would get dizzy half-way through a single stick. All I got were coughing spells, headache and stinky hair. So much for trying to be an "active" smoker.


The Nicorette set I got was for her. This was like 3 years ago. She tried... and she tried in vain. Leftover Nicorettes are now expired. I was surprised when the hubby mentioned to me, around two weeks back, that mommy told him she finally decided to quit smoking effective March 1, 2009. My good husband promised to treat her to a nice Japanese lunch twice a month, if she's successful in her resolve. Mommy confirmed that she's actually going to bid her precious (think Smeagol/Gollum) adieu. It's the first time ever I heard her make that kind of statement. She is now on the 5th day of her supposed "Marlboro-free" life. She was (fingers crossed) a heavy smoker, consuming one to two packs a day. It must be a very difficult stage for her. She's been extra cranky the past days. I guess withdrawal from any kind of addiction is like being on an emotional roller coaster ride...it can cause depression and even insomia. You can find helpful articles on smoking at http://quitsmoking.about.com.


Withdrawal from any addiction is tough. One can get help from physicians and/or community support groups. My two cents, for non-drug-related-not-so-serious addiction, going cold turkey is the best route to take. With strong willpower and some encouragement from loved ones and friends, you can kiss unhealthy habits goodbye!

photo from www.geckoandfly.com

Bea's 1st Quarter Doctor's Appointment

For the past 3 and a half years, we've been quite happy with the daughter's pediatrician at Asian Hospital, Dr. Maria Ana Yu-Abe. We really appreciate the way she takes care of our cuddle pup. We can call her anytime, through her mobile phone, even in the middle of the night, when it's really just so important to have a doctor tell you what to do when you're panicking over high fever, diarrhoea, vomiting, etc. But we're really thankful to God, so far no serious ailment, save for a bout with the parasite Entamoeba Histolyca last June-- Amoebiasis, which we successfully managed without having to be confined. The kiddo will most likely freak out with those intravenous plugs!

Sent her an SMS last Friday, asking if she's holding clinic the following day, she replied in affirmative. After lunch the hubby, the little one and I, sans the nanny, went to Robinson's Department Store at Festival Mall to get the little girl some stamps and DVDs, as she's been asking us to buy her more; we had Italian food at Sbarro's after. Taking it as an opportunity to prep her for the doctor's appointment, she's scheduled for DPT-Polio booster. I wanted the trip to the mall to be the highlight of the day for her, not the vaccination. She was sitting on my lap, our arms around her, while the doctor gave her the shot. She cried a bit. We told her that vaccination's important so she'll continue being healthy and that Dr. Abe's there to help Mom and Dad take care of her. Then of course, the stamps! The stamps are waiting for her at the car. That got her smiling again. She bade her doctor goodbye with a sweet kiss on the cheek and two thumbs up!

She's fit and healthy. Her weight's just right for her age and height. She's scheduled for her annual deworming next week. Supposedly this coming Friday, but we have Father's Day at Rosemont on Sunday. So we'll have it next Friday instead. Now it's very important that you do this with supervision/instruction from the doctor, as I've heard it can sometimes cause serious illness, even death. Heard the story from Mercury, that's why they now require prescription for Antiox.

Her next visit will be on April for Flu booster and after her 4th birthday for another booster. For complete recommended schedule of vaccination, you may want to visit http://www.babycenter.com.ph/baby/health/immunisationchildhooddiseases/. Or better yet, consult regularly with your child's pediatrician.

Remembering Ima

This day in "my" history, my family suffered a great loss. My maternal grandmother, whom we fondly call Ima (capampangan for mother), succumbed to complications brought about by the condition diverticulitis or ruptured diverticulum, check out full text on http://www.merck.com/mmhe/sec09/ch128/ch128c.html.

She would complain about having persistent abdominal pains. The doctors initially diagnosed it to be Urinary Tract Infection (UTI), but even after medication the pain still won’t go away. They brought her to another hospital where she had an ultrasound. The OB-Gyn saw a small crescent-like image pushing on her uterus. Since she really won’t be using her uterus anymore, they decided to have it operated on. When they did, they saw the crescent-like thing was in fact solidified feces and puss from her ruptured diverticulum. They immediately decided to cut that portion of the colon and attached a colostomy bag. My lola had never been hospitalized before, not ever. So it must have been really scary for her. She wanted the bag removed the soonest possible time. With the doctors' go signal she underwent another surgery for the removal of the bag. But when they tried to sew the colon back together, it started to have perforations and leakages. And all attempts made to put them back together turned futile.

Being a lola and lolo’s girl, I was very spoiled by them. When we were kids, she’d cook all my favorites every time we’d visit her, and I can have any toy I want. A sleepover at their place was something I would really look forward to. When my parents decided to part ways, I initially stayed with my uncle and aunt, but I moved to my grandparents’ place when I started university until I got married. She would prepare my baon (lunch) to bring to work and it’s always yummy. I would even discuss my love life with my grandparents…over a game of tong-its (local version of gin rummy). She’s always been so supportive. I remember when I was job hunting, she’d get very excited when she’d tell me that a company or a headhunter called. She has always been proud of her kids and grandchildren.

It was the greatest loss I have ever experienced so far. It’s like a part of my heart, my entire being had been chunked off. She was 78 years old; some of you might be thinking hey she’s already had a full life at 78. That maybe true, but not for me, not for a loved one. When you love someone, you’d want to hold on as long as you can possibly could. That’s the first time I have gone through all the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It’s like I could not believe it was happening. I’ve seen it several times, yes, terminal illness or death of a friend’s loved one or even that of a relative, but it was the first time for me, as an adult, to face something like that and I could not believe it happening to my lola. Why her? She’s always been a good, generous and loving person. Oh, my… I am actually crying while writing this. Why not the scums of society? Why should it happen to her? Why couldn’t the stupid doctors do anything about it? I felt rage. Then I started to bargain. Please take 10 years of my life, even just for a 6-year lease extension on hers. I’ll do anything, just please don’t take her away yet. It was my birthday month. Even just 3-5 years please. or 2 to 3? It was really depressing. I could not eat. I could not work. I could not sleep. My boss at that time was very understanding and gave me time off to be with her. We took shifts watching over her. But none of us would want to go home. So we ended up getting a private room for the family while she was in ICU. But seeing her suffer like that… with a surgical slice up to her chest (after 4 operations), we just had to accept that maybe like any other human being, it was her time to go. Time to do away with the tubes and morphine. But we continued to hope.

On November 28, 2004 Ima finally joined her Creator. No longer in pain. No longer suffering. It is said to be man’s ultimate reward…to finally be with God in His kingdom. It is only difficult for those who were left behind. It was never the same for me. For all of us she left behind. The wound has healed. But there’s this void inside of me, a numb feeling. Maybe it will always be there. Through time I have learned to move on and accept that it was nobody’s fault, because sometimes you blame yourself and others—like if only I had done this, if only the doctor had done that…it was her time, it is supposed to be as simple as that. The thought that she’s now in pure bliss with God gives me consolation. But there are times that I still cry for the loss of someone very dear to me. I would just say to myself that hey, she’s just on vacation, and they only have a one-way phone to heaven. I can talk to her and she can hear me, but like God’s voice I can only hear her through my heart and though other people. Every now and then I would dream about Ima, sometimes they seem oh so real, an occasional treat from God I believe.

As long as she sees us moving on, living our lives with the values we learned from her, I’m sure she is very happy. The greatest lesson I learned from her was: if it's for your family, it's always worth it. Give until it hurts. Ima, you will forever be in our hearts.

My Bad Eye

I have always had migraine. Known triggers of migraine are lack of sleep, food, strong scents and bright lights. For more literature on migraine you may want to check out www.migrainehelp.com.

For me, more often than not, very strong scent and glaring light are the usual culprits. And when I get unusual headache attacks, like one straight week of daily intake of Advil or Flanax (should not be taken on an empty stomach), I would usually see my ophthalmologist, Dr. Lionel Francisco, M.D. at Asian Hospital and Healthway ATC. Nice and funny fellow, that Dr. Francisco. In a check up more than 4 years ago, he noticed that my right eye iris does not constrict, the pupil is just a hole made by the iris, thus I easily get glared. I was advised to see a Neuro-Opthalmologist. I went to see one at Makati Medical Center, I forget the name as I only went to him once, and like any other neurologist, consultation fee’s higher than MDs in other field of specialization. The good doctor tried drops, reading, flashing light to my eye for hours, but it still won’t constrict. As it was not really something unmanageable, I was just given some drops. Pilocarpine Hydrochloride, I think. Not sure about the name, and DO NOT try medicine without checking with your physician first. And of course, dark glasses for daytime. I just used the drops for a while, as I try not to be too dependent on a medicine. Sunglasses and avoiding having to stay under the sun helps. It’s just kinda hard at night though. Especially when driving. Oncoming car headlights are equally glaring, high-beamers pay attention and take it easy on the beams please. ;-) Don’t look straight into the oncoming car and look sideway to the road instead, like what they advise in driving school, it’s actually in the Driver’s License test questionnaire you know.

Going back to my bad eye, until now we don’t know what is causing it to be like this. We even tried MRI (now that is another story, I had elevated prolactin level which suggests an abnormality in the pituitary gland function and osteoma) to check for tumor in the area, as the tumor can block the optic nerve thus resulting in malfunction of the iris or blindness…but initial reading showed no tumor growing in the area, thank God! I’m yet to go back to Dr. Francisco and a neurologist (for the prolactin and osteoma thingy) to show them the plates. I’ve been putting it off because they might suggest I get another MRI. I’m wearing braces and braces cause image artefacts (distortions), and they had to be taken off and put on again after the procedure. I’m almost done with these brackets. In the meantime… I just gotta wear shades!

*photos from vision.about.com and nymag.com