TGI Monday!

TGI Monday! Yup! Monday is THE day for me, since I started my little business venture more than a year ago. With the hubby leaving for work earlier than usual to avoid Monday traffic to Makati and Bea in school, Monday morning is zen for me. It's just nice and quiet here at the house, not that I do not want them here, I just like to enjoy some quiet time to just sit back, relax, listen to the sound of birds chirping and (occasionally) quietly share my thoughts with others.


Another month went by so fast. Summing it up, it was all about touching base and spending time with family, relatives and friends I have not seen in a while (some I see often). These get-togethers are opportunities to fill ourselves in with the happenings in our lives, reminisce past adventures and misadventures, and stuff ourselves with plate after plate of delectable food. Good for the soul, bad for the body. Gained 6 lbs. this month. But I'm not complaining :)

Taking Time Off

Hey, everyone! Just like the previous weeks, I've been pretty preoccupied with my upcoming project. Pre-op requirements, meeting with suppliers, coming up with a good menu and doing our sales and marketing kit. Still have not started staff pooling, maybe this coming week. Not really decided on the compensation package yet, which is very important to my future employees. So much work to do, so little time. Target opening date is third week of April. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to move it to a later date if things aren't ready by then.


I've decided to take a breather for awhile. Spend some time with the hubby and our cuddle pup...and maybe harass some contractors a bit (home construction). And get some decent sleep. I haven't been getting my nine hours lately. So much ideas for the business and excitement, I guess. By the way, I am very happy to announce that we now have Internet connection at the townhouse. Finally decided to have it activated, for business (and pleasure), of course. I'm home now having some quiet alone time, the daughter's taking siesta upstairs and I'm waiting for the husband to finish with his "pogi" barber's appointment. Then we are off to Alabang Home Depot and Wilcon to get more construction stuff. When house construction's over, it is gonna be a long while before I set foot on one of those home improvement establishments again.

The Way Things Are

I'm here at the office now checking my mailbox and decided to squeeze in this post before I forget about it. The daughter's here with me for our office Christmas party later. Was on my PC when the marketing officer from one of the medical clinics we send workers to dropped by to give their presents for us. When he left, my ever curious and observant daughter asked one of our staff "Is she a boy or a girl?" It's like she couldn't believe her eyes. The staff didn't know how to answer and told her to ask me instead. He's gay actually. But how do you explain that to a three year old girl? It's a touchy topic I believe. I'm no homophobic. And I wouldn't want my kid to grow-up discriminating people because of race, creed, social status, gender...or sexual orientation. I have to be careful not to sound prejudiced, at the same time not come out like a parent with no idea of what's black or white ... or gray. From a very conservative person's view point (which I'm really not), there shouldn't really be a gray area to begin with.

When you a have a little person asking you why a boy has very long hair and why he's clothes are for girls and why he's wearing make-up... you just have to stop and think for a while before trying to explain to her. You can't just say "Hey, that's how things are babe." Her questions must be answered. I just told her that he's really a boy but he likes to wear girl clothes. Her reply "But why, mom? He's a boy! And boys don't wear make-up! Make up for girls!" I then replied that sometimes some boys would want to look like a girl and some girls would want to look like a boy. I was given another "But they're boys! Why, Mom?" Of course, I couldn't really give her a full explanation as she is still too young to really understand stuff such as this one. I just simply told her that when she's older she will understand why and how different we all are from each other. Different strokes for different folks.

One thing struck me though, she was just observing QUIETLY and asked the question AFTER the guy left the office. She didn't just blurt it out right in front of him. I guess at her tender age she's beginning to understand what's proper and what's not. In time her knowledge will grow and her views may (or may not) change. As long as it's within the norm, as dictated by our faith and beliefs, or that which are socially acceptable, then I'm okay with it. If she says boys shouldn't wear make-up and dress like girls... then let's respect that. It's her two cents. We are all entitled to our own opinion.

Bea's Merry Little Christmas

Most likely because of the world economic crisis we're experiencing now, or maybe it's just me... it doesn't really feel so Christmassy this Yule season. Even Makati's Central Business District (CBD) is not decked out as the years past. Usually after Halloween business offices in the area start rolling out holiday decors... not this year. Save for a handful of buildings, it's just Ayala Avenue that's pretty much into the season, courtesy of Makati City taxpayer's money hee hee (or should I say hmph!?).

My daughter came home from school singing holiday tunes last week. She told me that they watched Hi 5 Christmas Special in school that morning and that she'd like to have a snowman in the house. Told her she has her little tree from last year and we'll just put it up again for this year. Like furnitures, we do not have our family Christmas tree yet since we will be moving to the new house pretty soon. Thinking of just getting some styropore from National Bookstore so we can make her own snowman. The other day my mom called me at my mobile just to say that she talked to her apo (grandchild) and Bea told her lola she didn't have a tree yet. Yesterday morning, my "official" day off, I finally got around to putting up some decor at the house for some Christmas feel and waited for Bea to get home so she can be the one to dress up her little Christmas tree. Getting off the car, she already saw the wreath on the door and her stocking by the window, and I could hear her giggling excitedly from outside, shouting "wow, I love it!" Asked her to wait until after her afternoon ballet to decorate the tree together.

While she was napping, I took the opportunity to go to National Bookstore for some gift tags and an Elmo book for her school exchange gift, and then went to South Supermarket to get some pancit malabon (a noodle dish from Malabon City, Philippines) and fresh lumpia (shredded fresh veggies wrapped in pancake or rice paper wrapper) for the hubby's sister. When I got home my sister-in-law was already there chatting with the little one who was just waiting for the driver to bring her to the club for ballet. SIL and I went to Verdana, she wanted to see the house, and we went house hopping after. The cuddle pup was already home when we got back, eagerly waiting for us.

We decorated her little Christmas tree. After wrapping all her present for her classmates, she then signed her name on the gift tags...all 15 of them! She can now write her name without having to copy from a "pattern" or an adult spelling it out for her. Just wrote a post-it note to her teacher, requesting that she be allowed to personally give out the presents today. Nursery party is on the 17th, after their Quarterly Evaluations. She will start getting presents from Santa Claus on the 16th. A tradition we started last year. Just a little something until the “big” day. Simple stuff like lollypop, jellyace, juices, items less than PhP30.00. Last year it was so funny, Santa “forgot” to get something to put in her stocking… she received a box of Champorado (chocolate rice porridge)! At first she was just staring at it, probably thinking "What's up with this guy?" Then we were all like "Oh, wow! You got champorado from Santa! Wow! That’s so yummy!” And she went “Wow! Champorado! I love champorado!” LOL. Last year, she got a big Play-Doh set. She said this year she’d like to get a “bigggggg” (that’s how she said it) Bratz doll from Santa.

I have not done any shopping yet, the presents for her classmates were supposed to be her giveaways for her 3rd birthday (couldn't find Precious Moments party stuff, so I changed the motif to Disney Princess…after getting those activity books. Hey, they were on sale!). Won’t be doing much shopping this year though. Budget’s pretty tight. Our priority is the house. Just a little something for everyone. Now I’m slowly beginning to feel Christmassy. The little one's excitement rubbing off on me.

Setting up her tree yesterday

This was from last Christmas

Remembering Ima

This day in "my" history, my family suffered a great loss. My maternal grandmother, whom we fondly call Ima (capampangan for mother), succumbed to complications brought about by the condition diverticulitis or ruptured diverticulum, check out full text on http://www.merck.com/mmhe/sec09/ch128/ch128c.html.

She would complain about having persistent abdominal pains. The doctors initially diagnosed it to be Urinary Tract Infection (UTI), but even after medication the pain still won’t go away. They brought her to another hospital where she had an ultrasound. The OB-Gyn saw a small crescent-like image pushing on her uterus. Since she really won’t be using her uterus anymore, they decided to have it operated on. When they did, they saw the crescent-like thing was in fact solidified feces and puss from her ruptured diverticulum. They immediately decided to cut that portion of the colon and attached a colostomy bag. My lola had never been hospitalized before, not ever. So it must have been really scary for her. She wanted the bag removed the soonest possible time. With the doctors' go signal she underwent another surgery for the removal of the bag. But when they tried to sew the colon back together, it started to have perforations and leakages. And all attempts made to put them back together turned futile.

Being a lola and lolo’s girl, I was very spoiled by them. When we were kids, she’d cook all my favorites every time we’d visit her, and I can have any toy I want. A sleepover at their place was something I would really look forward to. When my parents decided to part ways, I initially stayed with my uncle and aunt, but I moved to my grandparents’ place when I started university until I got married. She would prepare my baon (lunch) to bring to work and it’s always yummy. I would even discuss my love life with my grandparents…over a game of tong-its (local version of gin rummy). She’s always been so supportive. I remember when I was job hunting, she’d get very excited when she’d tell me that a company or a headhunter called. She has always been proud of her kids and grandchildren.

It was the greatest loss I have ever experienced so far. It’s like a part of my heart, my entire being had been chunked off. She was 78 years old; some of you might be thinking hey she’s already had a full life at 78. That maybe true, but not for me, not for a loved one. When you love someone, you’d want to hold on as long as you can possibly could. That’s the first time I have gone through all the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It’s like I could not believe it was happening. I’ve seen it several times, yes, terminal illness or death of a friend’s loved one or even that of a relative, but it was the first time for me, as an adult, to face something like that and I could not believe it happening to my lola. Why her? She’s always been a good, generous and loving person. Oh, my… I am actually crying while writing this. Why not the scums of society? Why should it happen to her? Why couldn’t the stupid doctors do anything about it? I felt rage. Then I started to bargain. Please take 10 years of my life, even just for a 6-year lease extension on hers. I’ll do anything, just please don’t take her away yet. It was my birthday month. Even just 3-5 years please. or 2 to 3? It was really depressing. I could not eat. I could not work. I could not sleep. My boss at that time was very understanding and gave me time off to be with her. We took shifts watching over her. But none of us would want to go home. So we ended up getting a private room for the family while she was in ICU. But seeing her suffer like that… with a surgical slice up to her chest (after 4 operations), we just had to accept that maybe like any other human being, it was her time to go. Time to do away with the tubes and morphine. But we continued to hope.

On November 28, 2004 Ima finally joined her Creator. No longer in pain. No longer suffering. It is said to be man’s ultimate reward…to finally be with God in His kingdom. It is only difficult for those who were left behind. It was never the same for me. For all of us she left behind. The wound has healed. But there’s this void inside of me, a numb feeling. Maybe it will always be there. Through time I have learned to move on and accept that it was nobody’s fault, because sometimes you blame yourself and others—like if only I had done this, if only the doctor had done that…it was her time, it is supposed to be as simple as that. The thought that she’s now in pure bliss with God gives me consolation. But there are times that I still cry for the loss of someone very dear to me. I would just say to myself that hey, she’s just on vacation, and they only have a one-way phone to heaven. I can talk to her and she can hear me, but like God’s voice I can only hear her through my heart and though other people. Every now and then I would dream about Ima, sometimes they seem oh so real, an occasional treat from God I believe.

As long as she sees us moving on, living our lives with the values we learned from her, I’m sure she is very happy. The greatest lesson I learned from her was: if it's for your family, it's always worth it. Give until it hurts. Ima, you will forever be in our hearts.

Counting My Blessings

I usually find myself do some serious contemplating days before (and after) my birthday. I reflect on the year that has passed and more often than not I end smiling after. There were trying times yes, but they just make the good times stand out more. I am grateful to God for giving me a wonderful, loving, supportive family: my mom, my husband, my daughter, my sibling, my extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins) and in-laws. Thoughtful, caring and supportive friends too! I am truly blessed.

Deliberate Parenting

The hubby took the day off last Friday to go with me to Rosemont. I had to go to office in the morning to do payroll, but was home before 2 p.m. Our tutorial chat was scheduled at 3:00 p.m. I’m sure most of you are thinking “Tutorial what?” To understand better I got the exact text of what a tutorial chat is from the PAREF (Parents for Education Foundation) website www.paref.org:

“Parental collaboration, a must in the PAREF philosophy of education, is implemented through a series of periodic chats, of a tutor or confidante with the student, and also with his parents. Through these personal conversations, tutor and parents collaborate in the overall development of the child's growth and they assure greater harmony between the home and the school.”

Each child has his/her own tutor or “friend”. A “confidante” whose main task is to monitor the intellectual, socio-emotional and spiritual growth of the tutee. The child is encouraged to talk about the happenings in his life, his world outside school,home life. Some find this system intrusive. I mean it is like, OMG they will train our kids to spy on us! To be snitches! Moles! Or whatever. But it is not really as bad as it sounds. It’s actually good, my two cents.

When we became parents, we talked about the kind of parenting style we’d like to adapt in our home. Coming from families with different set-up and of course, different parenting styles, we both have our own take on how we’d like things to be with regards to the upbringing of our child. But you know what? Even with different family backgrounds, the husband and I are both for deliberate parenting. And being deliberate parents, we want to know what’s happening in Bea’s life, especially outside our home. As for the part wherein Bea will be asked about the happenings in the house, we are quite okay with that too. I mean, if you have nothing to hide, there’s really nothing to be afraid of. There’s no such thing as a perfect home, we all know that. If you’re not doing anything bad, then your child will only have good things to tell her tutor.

Last quarter it was just the tutor and I. I am glad that the dad was with me for the second quarter tutorial chat. We were so happy to find out that Bea’s doing very well in school. She aced her 2nd Quarter Math Evaluations and got 23/27 for Reading. For the 1st quarter she only got 1-3 mistakes for both subjects. Not bad for a 3 year old (July 23 birthday) Nursery student, eh? Like other kids, she still has to improve on her social skills. Like sharing, taking care of belongings, etc. which is quite normal for kids her age. I am not bragging or anything, okay? Just sharing. We’re just proud parents, that's all. You know how it is. :-) Her classmates are mostly a year to year and a half older than her. We were afraid that she might be too young for traditional school set up, for Nursery. She went to a play-based, developmental school, Toddlers Unlimited at Festival Mall, prior to enrolling at Rosemont. So far, so good. She seems to be adjusting well. And her developmental pediatrician at Asian Hospital, Dr. Bernadette Benitez, did say that most of her skills are advanced for her age. We closely monitor her schooling and its effect on her. We do not want it to be too overwhelming or stressful for her. We are just here for support. So long as she is happy in school and developmental goals are met, then we are good.

Deliberate Parenting is a term you will always hear in PAREF school talks and seminars (there’s a mandatory 5-module NPEP seminar for new PAREF parents). But I noticed that it’s a parenting style most people use nowadays. We do not call it exactly that. But boomer and gen x parents are pretty much hands-on with the upbringing of their children. We make it a point to be an essential part of their lives. And I mean both parents. Not just the mom, not just the dad. We do not just provide them with what we think they need, we are also interested in what THEY say or think they need. We do not just give them candies or chocolates, we actually squint our eyes in the grocery reading food labels to make sure it’s not contaminated with melamine or whatever “toxic” thing it may contain. We have their pediatrician’s personal number in our speed dial. We do not just buy the doctor’s Rx, we “googleize” first before we actually get them. We even googleize the doctor himself. We googleize a lot of things, actually. We encourage them to talk and we listen to what they have to say. We are involved parents.

This is not to say that other parenting styles are wrong or that parents before our time were not good.Hey, we did turn out well, right? LOL. Different strokes for different folks. No matter what our parenting style is, we all have to agree that we only just want what is BEST for our children.



"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
- Kahlil Gibran

It Was A Good Weekend

The family and the household staff spent the day together yesterday. Except for Bea’s tantrum in the shower, it was a pretty good day. She was crying and crying, when asked what was wrong she said “I don’t like the shower because it’s too fast and I don’t like shampoo!”---Okay. You know kids, they have their own “logical” way of looking at things. So I just asked her to stop crying and told her if she didn’t stop we wont go out anymore. That calmed her down and they were done in 5 minutes.

First we went to the cemetery. We really avoid going on All Soul’s Day and All Saint’s Day. And I need not explain why. We usually go before or after. This year we went after. Got flowers and candles from my usual vendor just outside the cemetery. And visited our dearly departed.

Then we went to Mall of Asia for lunch. The hubby was craving for seafood and we decided to try their food at Marina.We ordered halaan (clam- ginger soup), calamares (batter fried squid rings), grilled prawns in lemon butter sauce, baked oysters, grilled pork liempo (country style ribs), lechon cebu (roasted pig, Cebu style), adobong kangkong (water spinach cooked in soy sauce and vinegar), and rice. It was okay. Food was good except for the oysters. The husband and I love oysters. I asked for Oysters Rockefeller, and the way they cooked it was pretty far from the Rockefeller I’m used to. Should have gotten Oyster on the half shell instead. We would have enjoyed it more. And their sago at gulaman drink (tapioca pearls and gelatine served with caramelized sugar, water and ice) is not something I would get from them again, give me the one from the chinese guy at Makati Supermart ATC or Goldilocks anytime!

Afterwards, we went around the mall. My hubby’s been asking me what I’d like to get for my birthday next week. Told him, he really doesn’t have to get me anything this year, as we are building our house, this year ONLY though. LOL. He insisted that I should get something, even a simple present. So I did. He got me a pair of Kenneth Cole sunglasses. Bea broke my Ray-Bans a couple of years back, and I shied away from eyewear since. Now that she is older it will be easier to ask her not to touch or break things. So thank you, my babbu love! Now my eyes have protection from the sun’s glare again! LOL. Seriously, I appreciate it! Thanks! Thanks! :-)

A Time To Blog

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven. A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing. A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep, and a time to throw away. A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; A time to be silent, and a time to speak. A time to love, and a time to hate; A time for war, and a time for peace." ---Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

But what does one do when one has spare time in between taking care of the household, running errands, working, chatting and spending time with friends, baby ballet, pre-school homework, appointment with hairstylist, masseuse and the mani-pedi girl? Try BLOGGING.

In this day and age, with all the gadgets and other techie stuff coming out and being used, I'm one those "semi-technophobic" people around. Believe it or not, I don't even own an iPod and the only phone that I have now is my not-too-old, child-battered Motorola Razor V3X... a gift from my hubby a couple of years back. My relationship with my Personal Computer is not really that "personal". I mean I just use it when I'm at the office. For work, doing my daughter's worksheets. And surfing the net. I help my mom run a landbased recruitment agency, so just imagine the amount of time I spend surfing LOL (but I only go to work 3 to 4 times a week, though). I get bored sometimes. My cousin K suggested I try blogging. I was like...blogging? She's like "Yeah, Ats. Try it. It's fun. You can even make money out of it." I was pretty skeptical about trying it, not the making money part ok, it's just the thought of you know spilling your guts or sharing to the world your thoughts, ideas, or whatever... I mean who'd be interested in how the view's like thru my optic lens? I have to admit that I enjoy reading blogs...like that of the Aussie dude Brian Gorrell, boy my eyes got sore spending hours and hours on his site. And to update myself on the happenings in my friends' or relatives' lives (those living in another continent), I visit their sites as well. Of course, there are also the social networks Facebook, Multiply and Friendster!

Going back, sorry if i get sidetracked every now and then, so I told Kat that I'll think about what she said. It's somewhat therapeutic. And now here I am starting this site...taking time to actually BLOG. :-)