The hubby took the day off last Friday to go with me to Rosemont. I had to go to office in the morning to do payroll, but was home before 2 p.m. Our tutorial chat was scheduled at 3:00 p.m. I’m sure most of you are thinking “Tutorial what?” To understand better I got the exact text of what a tutorial chat is from the PAREF (Parents for Education Foundation) website www.paref.org:
“Parental collaboration, a must in the PAREF philosophy of education, is implemented through a series of periodic chats, of a tutor or confidante with the student, and also with his parents. Through these personal conversations, tutor and parents collaborate in the overall development of the child's growth and they assure greater harmony between the home and the school.”
Each child has his/her own tutor or “friend”. A “confidante” whose main task is to monitor the intellectual, socio-emotional and spiritual growth of the tutee. The child is encouraged to talk about the happenings in his life, his world outside school,home life. Some find this system intrusive. I mean it is like, OMG they will train our kids to spy on us! To be snitches! Moles! Or whatever. But it is not really as bad as it sounds. It’s actually good, my two cents.
When we became parents, we talked about the kind of parenting style we’d like to adapt in our home. Coming from families with different set-up and of course, different parenting styles, we both have our own take on how we’d like things to be with regards to the upbringing of our child. But you know what? Even with different family backgrounds, the husband and I are both for deliberate parenting. And being deliberate parents, we want to know what’s happening in Bea’s life, especially outside our home. As for the part wherein Bea will be asked about the happenings in the house, we are quite okay with that too. I mean, if you have nothing to hide, there’s really nothing to be afraid of. There’s no such thing as a perfect home, we all know that. If you’re not doing anything bad, then your child will only have good things to tell her tutor.
Last quarter it was just the tutor and I. I am glad that the dad was with me for the second quarter tutorial chat. We were so happy to find out that Bea’s doing very well in school. She aced her 2nd Quarter Math Evaluations and got 23/27 for Reading. For the 1st quarter she only got 1-3 mistakes for both subjects. Not bad for a 3 year old (July 23 birthday) Nursery student, eh? Like other kids, she still has to improve on her social skills. Like sharing, taking care of belongings, etc. which is quite normal for kids her age. I am not bragging or anything, okay? Just sharing. We’re just proud parents, that's all. You know how it is. :-) Her classmates are mostly a year to year and a half older than her. We were afraid that she might be too young for traditional school set up, for Nursery. She went to a play-based, developmental school, Toddlers Unlimited at Festival Mall, prior to enrolling at Rosemont. So far, so good. She seems to be adjusting well. And her developmental pediatrician at Asian Hospital, Dr. Bernadette Benitez, did say that most of her skills are advanced for her age. We closely monitor her schooling and its effect on her. We do not want it to be too overwhelming or stressful for her. We are just here for support. So long as she is happy in school and developmental goals are met, then we are good.
Deliberate Parenting is a term you will always hear in PAREF school talks and seminars (there’s a mandatory 5-module NPEP seminar for new PAREF parents). But I noticed that it’s a parenting style most people use nowadays. We do not call it exactly that. But boomer and gen x parents are pretty much hands-on with the upbringing of their children. We make it a point to be an essential part of their lives. And I mean both parents. Not just the mom, not just the dad. We do not just provide them with what we think they need, we are also interested in what THEY say or think they need. We do not just give them candies or chocolates, we actually squint our eyes in the grocery reading food labels to make sure it’s not contaminated with melamine or whatever “toxic” thing it may contain. We have their pediatrician’s personal number in our speed dial. We do not just buy the doctor’s Rx, we “googleize” first before we actually get them. We even googleize the doctor himself. We googleize a lot of things, actually. We encourage them to talk and we listen to what they have to say. We are involved parents.
This is not to say that other parenting styles are wrong or that parents before our time were not good.Hey, we did turn out well, right? LOL. Different strokes for different folks. No matter what our parenting style is, we all have to agree that we only just want what is BEST for our children.
"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
- Kahlil Gibran
“Parental collaboration, a must in the PAREF philosophy of education, is implemented through a series of periodic chats, of a tutor or confidante with the student, and also with his parents. Through these personal conversations, tutor and parents collaborate in the overall development of the child's growth and they assure greater harmony between the home and the school.”
Each child has his/her own tutor or “friend”. A “confidante” whose main task is to monitor the intellectual, socio-emotional and spiritual growth of the tutee. The child is encouraged to talk about the happenings in his life, his world outside school,home life. Some find this system intrusive. I mean it is like, OMG they will train our kids to spy on us! To be snitches! Moles! Or whatever. But it is not really as bad as it sounds. It’s actually good, my two cents.
When we became parents, we talked about the kind of parenting style we’d like to adapt in our home. Coming from families with different set-up and of course, different parenting styles, we both have our own take on how we’d like things to be with regards to the upbringing of our child. But you know what? Even with different family backgrounds, the husband and I are both for deliberate parenting. And being deliberate parents, we want to know what’s happening in Bea’s life, especially outside our home. As for the part wherein Bea will be asked about the happenings in the house, we are quite okay with that too. I mean, if you have nothing to hide, there’s really nothing to be afraid of. There’s no such thing as a perfect home, we all know that. If you’re not doing anything bad, then your child will only have good things to tell her tutor.
Last quarter it was just the tutor and I. I am glad that the dad was with me for the second quarter tutorial chat. We were so happy to find out that Bea’s doing very well in school. She aced her 2nd Quarter Math Evaluations and got 23/27 for Reading. For the 1st quarter she only got 1-3 mistakes for both subjects. Not bad for a 3 year old (July 23 birthday) Nursery student, eh? Like other kids, she still has to improve on her social skills. Like sharing, taking care of belongings, etc. which is quite normal for kids her age. I am not bragging or anything, okay? Just sharing. We’re just proud parents, that's all. You know how it is. :-) Her classmates are mostly a year to year and a half older than her. We were afraid that she might be too young for traditional school set up, for Nursery. She went to a play-based, developmental school, Toddlers Unlimited at Festival Mall, prior to enrolling at Rosemont. So far, so good. She seems to be adjusting well. And her developmental pediatrician at Asian Hospital, Dr. Bernadette Benitez, did say that most of her skills are advanced for her age. We closely monitor her schooling and its effect on her. We do not want it to be too overwhelming or stressful for her. We are just here for support. So long as she is happy in school and developmental goals are met, then we are good.
Deliberate Parenting is a term you will always hear in PAREF school talks and seminars (there’s a mandatory 5-module NPEP seminar for new PAREF parents). But I noticed that it’s a parenting style most people use nowadays. We do not call it exactly that. But boomer and gen x parents are pretty much hands-on with the upbringing of their children. We make it a point to be an essential part of their lives. And I mean both parents. Not just the mom, not just the dad. We do not just provide them with what we think they need, we are also interested in what THEY say or think they need. We do not just give them candies or chocolates, we actually squint our eyes in the grocery reading food labels to make sure it’s not contaminated with melamine or whatever “toxic” thing it may contain. We have their pediatrician’s personal number in our speed dial. We do not just buy the doctor’s Rx, we “googleize” first before we actually get them. We even googleize the doctor himself. We googleize a lot of things, actually. We encourage them to talk and we listen to what they have to say. We are involved parents.
This is not to say that other parenting styles are wrong or that parents before our time were not good.Hey, we did turn out well, right? LOL. Different strokes for different folks. No matter what our parenting style is, we all have to agree that we only just want what is BEST for our children.
"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
- Kahlil Gibran
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